grief

spoon fed

/ kate58 / Leave a comment

you gotta eat something
so eat baby, eat
cook something you like
buy yourself a special treat

salmon on toast
a juicy grilled steak
homemade lentil soup
steamed broccoli with grilled hake

what about this:
there’s Deliveroo
you can get a Double Whopper
Burger King pleases you

Ma, I might if I weren’t skint
just look at my bankbook
better still, look at me:
I’m in no shape to cook

but you need to eat something,
so eat, my darling child
your grief (& your stubbornness)
are driving me wild

you could make spaghetti
the one thing you made better than me
what about your love of seafood
scallops fresh from the North Sea

Ma, I am sorry
I know you mean to be kind
but ever since you left
food’s the last thing on my mind

pray for me, Ma
cause I no longer know what to do
I feel as if I’ve ruined my life
can’t bear the pain of missing you

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long time’ comin’

/ kate58 / Leave a comment

lassitude lies heavy
her own private laissez-faire
the fibre optics twinkle
tree’s pretty, but she don’t care

it’s that old song
about the tears of a clown
the smiles she shares are fake
all alone, she melts down

‘n the ache in her chest
is a banjo strummin’
hidin’ in the loo at work
wipin’ tears a long time comin’

there’s food in the fridge
(thanks to a boyfriend who’s too good)
all too often she’s not hungry –
she don’t eat the way she should

she’s a shadow; a woeful wraith
of her former self
there’s no Christmas card from Mom
so fuck a elf on a shelf

‘n the pain in her head is endless
neuralgia’s relentless thrummin’
all alone she weeps
bitter tears that just keep comin’

copyright © 2018 KPM

the 11-month mark

/ kate58 / 2 Comments

so what was dude thinkin’
safe up in His cloudy sky
when He decided the people you love
would one day hafta die?

did it not occur to Him
that some could not withstand their grief?
was He indifferent to the many
who’d now abandon all belief?

& while I’m at it, God,
what’s up with free will?
surely you must’ve known
your creations would mindlessly kill

tell me why you do it:
are you a sadist, or just odd?
I still wanna believe,
so I’m waitin’ for an answer, God

wives bereft of husbands
husbands missin’ wives
children longin’ for their mothers
endless tears for all the lost lives

nightmares & neuralgia
terminal grief & guilt
doubting all your choices
& the worth of the life you’ve built

I know I’m a sinner, Lord,
but show some mercy – take me off this rack
I swear I’ll believe again
if you’ll just give my mother back

copyright © 2018 KPM

autumn in the kingdom of Alba

/ kate58 / Leave a comment

another Friday morning
once again I open my eyes
to another spectacular
Scottish sunrise

my heart still beats
with its heavy load
yet I smile when I think
of strollin’ down Perth Road

my walk to work is soothing
daily exercise
checkin’ out the people
& the changin’ Dundee skies

a time for me to think
in the chilly mornin’ peace
a time for silent prayer
hopin’ sorrow will decrease

copyright © 2017 KPM

 

50 days

/ kate58 / Leave a comment

grief
is a hateful thief
that has stolen my brother’s joy
replaced the humour in his eyes
with the look of a lost little boy

dismay
has come to play
it dances across my sisters’ hearts
tinging their smiles with a sadness
that pierces my soul like darts

me? I’m just numb
totally struck dumb
I’ve become unglued
my once familiar world
is now forever, horribly skewed

copyright © 2016 KPM

seen in the classifieds

/ kate58 / Leave a comment

the ad said:

another owner is needed
for one broken heart
the current owner wants to give it
a brand-new start

the heart’s still working,
blood still pumps
though sometimes it stutters:
it’s faced too many of life’s jumps

the valves & ventricles are good
oxygen still flows
but it often suffers pain
from old betrayals & blows

all arteries & veins
are basically sound
despite the owner feeling
as if she’s been drowned

the owner of this heart
desperately wants to give it away
it’s free to the first taker,
please come collect it today

copyright © 2017 KPM