droplets of joy

a heart still fragile
a week after the protest
a soul that remains
in a state of unrest

so when the unexpected knock
hits the door
1st instinct is to wonder:
“is it time to hit the floor?”

black dog has been biting
crazy thoughts inhabit the void
what’s that’s noise? what’s that sound?
the word of the day is paranoid

eye pressed to keyhole
2 smiles floating in the hall
the solid flesh of love
come to bust depression’s pall

love that takes the form of food
burgers & potato salad
plates made up, drinks poured
the melody of friendship’s ballad

thus today there’s laughter
something not done in a while
an alfresco brunch with friends
beneath the summer sun’s warm smile

copyright © 2020 KPM

someone’s brother, someone’s son

an hour after the sun comes up
I’m outside
sippin’ coffee from my favourite cup
a majestic hawk
soars above my head
I embrace a wonder that replaces my dread

in this space I don’t have to think
of my brother or my nephews
who are always on the brink
of being mistaken
for a “criminal” someone
who can be slain by a “concerned citizen’s” gun

I live with the constant fear
of receiving news
too many others have had to hear
cops with no integrity
a vigilante with a gun
blood on the sidewalk from a brother or a son

in my garden I prefer to stay
out here I can keep
terrible thoughts at bay
watching a lone seagull swoop & dive
praying my brother, my nephews
& all black men will survive

copyright © 2020 KPM

spoon fed

you gotta eat something
so eat baby, eat
cook something you like
buy yourself a special treat

salmon on toast
a juicy grilled steak
homemade lentil soup
steamed broccoli with grilled hake

what about this:
there’s Deliveroo
you can get a Double Whopper
Burger King pleases you

Ma, I might if I weren’t skint
just look at my bankbook
better still, look at me:
I’m in no shape to cook

but you need to eat something,
so eat, my darling child
your grief (& your stubbornness)
are driving me wild

you could make spaghetti
the one thing you made better than me
what about your love of seafood
scallops fresh from the North Sea

Ma, I am sorry
I know you mean to be kind
but ever since you left
food’s the last thing on my mind

pray for me, Ma
cause I no longer know what to do
I feel as if I’ve ruined my life
can’t bear the pain of missing you

copyright © 2019 KPM

lost

still grieving,
worried about her overdraft
she feels unsettled,
in need of a life raft

she’s drinkin’ too much
hours she spends, sleepin’
awakening to discover
in her dreams she’s been weepin’

tormented daily
by Satan’s inquisitor
all alone she longs
for someone to visit her

it’s been a week
since her mobile rang
& everyday she jumps
at the mail slot’s clang

copyright © 2017 KPM

the road to Edinburgh

cool morning mist embraces
my beloved Scottish hills
I try not to think of what’s coming:
it makes me sick,
it gives me chills

lights glow in scattered farm houses
they shine like alien eyes
I’m tryin’ hard to turn my thoughts off,
cause they’re all scary –
oversized

each mile covered takes me further
from favourite familiar sights
I’m entering unknown territory,
approaching many
dark nights

the morning people have awakened
to a new cycle of joy & pain
I can feel his silent watching
as I walk tearfully
towards the plane

copyright © 2017 KPM

even angels make mistakes

misfortune dogs her footsteps
though she’s committed no crime
her daily life is chaos
in what’s supposed to be her prime
wind roars in her ears
heart beats with an infernal rhyme
seductive are the voices
which keep whispering
“it’s time”

the working-class continue
with their bingo & horse races
immune to clouds above
that resemble laughing faces
children skip to school
their bickering mouths filled with braces
she watches, the back of her throat slimed
with bitter Zopiclone traces

yet she awakens every morning
to another church-bell dawn
downs endless cups of coffee
in a faded gown of black chiffon
an hour at a time
she resists thoughts of all that’s gone
in the memories of those who love her
she’ll find the strength to carry on

copyright © 2015 KPM

even angels make mistakes

this is a test

in my smile folks see a song
‘n people think of me as strong
through every trial I’ve danced along
but right now my faith is gone

I rode the streets of my life, totally in control
had work I loved that made me feel whole
jobless now, I’m facin’ the dole
or damp city streets with a beggin’ bowl

feel like the dupe in a nightmare swindle
‘n in my belly fear starts to kindle
helplessly I watch my bank balance dwindle
my belief in you – can it be rekindled?

I’m strugglin’ to remember that I’m blessed
but this current state I so detest
‘n I don’t wanna be scared or depressed
but my feelings must be expressed

I need you, Lord –guidance & love are requested
cause in this place I’m heavily invested
few are the times that I’ve been bested
reckon that’s why I’m bein’ tested

copyright © 2015 KPM

Tested

forsaken

Lord,
I am not strong enough
for this new song you want me to sing
an’ today I’ve lost my faith again
so songs don’ mean a thing

to me
the child you’ve abandoned
the child with whom you’ve toyed
the child you’ve walked away from
the child who feels destroyed

Holy Spirit,
I’ve done my best
on arthritic knees I’ve prayed
I’ve tried to be a good person
yet my hopes ‘n dreams you’ve slayed

right now
I feel bereft
I feel like your love has left
I feel like I’ve been forsaken
once more my heart is breakin’

Gentle Jesus,
my heart ’n soul you read
‘n I want to believe you’re still there
hear me in this time of deepest need
show me that you’re always there

copyright © 2015 KPM

forsaken

it never goes away

disquiet rides in
on the pale horse of dreams
cantering amongst moonbeams
impervious to the screams
of the nightmare tossed

despair saunters in
with a flirtatious dance
staying awhile to dance
offering no hope or chance
to the many lost

death stalks in
eyes burning fever bright
looking neither left nor right
an oft blessed blight
if one cares naught about the cost

copyright © 2015 KPM

it never goes away

a hole in the wall

is she awake?
is it a dream?  

is that really a shadow flitting down the hall?
an’ what’s that bangin’ noise behind the bathroom wall?
tiles shatter on the floor in the midnight gloom
the gaping hole in the wall reveals another room
the walls of this room are made of dead bugs
a table set for two bears a bowl of squirming slugs
in a corner of the room is a sloppily made bed
with a dirty pillow that boasts a dismembered head
she spares not one thought for her immortal soul
she’s curious now, so she wriggles through the hole
with a bone-rattling thud she hits the dusty floor
to fall endlessly through an unseen trap-door
landing in the backseat of a cab with a crash
she’s greeted by a ghostly driver with a face of grey ash
rusty doors close with a screech an’ a slam
as the driver cackles “where to, ma’am?”  

I’m asleep, she thinks
this has to be a dream
the car rockets towards a fiery tunnel
and she awakens with a scream…  

copyright © 2014 KPM

a hole in the wall