droplets of joy

a heart still fragile
a week after the protest
a soul that remains
in a state of unrest

so when the unexpected knock
hits the door
1st instinct is to wonder:
“is it time to hit the floor?”

black dog has been biting
crazy thoughts inhabit the void
what’s that’s noise? what’s that sound?
the word of the day is paranoid

eye pressed to keyhole
2 smiles floating in the hall
the solid flesh of love
come to bust depression’s pall

love that takes the form of food
burgers & potato salad
plates made up, drinks poured
the melody of friendship’s ballad

thus today there’s laughter
something not done in a while
an alfresco brunch with friends
beneath the summer sun’s warm smile

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tan lines

look at ‘em:
linin’ up outside
the tanning salon
tryin’ to SPRAY
tryin’ to BAKE
my bronze beauty on

I laugh
(instead of cry)
at the hypocrisy of this
cause folks
who look like me
they’d never deign to kiss

listen to ‘em:
“but I got
a black friend”
so will you stand next to me?
MY RIGHT TO LIVE,
will you defend?

I’m so scared
I’m so ANGRY
too many emotions I feel
hearts & lives
are being broken
on racism’s wretched wheel

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weary

it went away
the poem I meant to write
it vanished
with today’s sunlight

it’s gone
a poetic door now closed
like the blood of protesters
scrubbed ‘n hosed

they disappeared
words I thought were so profound
no one wants to hear
pleas from the urban ground

I lost them
all those words I wanted to say
probably wouldn’t have helped
any old way

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tears in the morning

not much to say
‘s finally here
31st March
most hated day of the year

I’m blessed to have awakened
but still I cried
cause it’s 31st March
the day my mother died

I like to think she’s watchin’ me
from her perch in the sky far above
she’s sitting next to Daddy
both protect me with their love

for many other people
this is just another day
but for me, 31st March
is when Mommy went away

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spoon fed

you gotta eat something
so eat baby, eat
cook something you like
buy yourself a special treat

salmon on toast
a juicy grilled steak
homemade lentil soup
steamed broccoli with grilled hake

what about this:
there’s Deliveroo
you can get a Double Whopper
Burger King pleases you

Ma, I might if I weren’t skint
just look at my bankbook
better still, look at me:
I’m in no shape to cook

but you need to eat something,
so eat, my darling child
your grief (& your stubbornness)
are driving me wild

you could make spaghetti
the one thing you made better than me
what about your love of seafood
scallops fresh from the North Sea

Ma, I am sorry
I know you mean to be kind
but ever since you left
food’s the last thing on my mind

pray for me, Ma
cause I no longer know what to do
I feel as if I’ve ruined my life
can’t bear the pain of missing you

copyright © 2019 KPM

harder

it would be a hard task
ripping off that mask
unsure if she’s ready to share
certain that no one would care

new lines in her face point down,
down
grief makes her tired
it makes her frown

there’s no one
to apportion blame to
she’d ask for help
but she’s ashamed to

is she mad? she wonders,
are strangers really staring?
such a burden this is,
a load she’s tired of bearing

how long in the ground
before a body grows cold?
sorrow seductively questions
the point of growing old

lines deepen around her eyes,
eyes
that saw a bright future,
now dimmed by daily cries

copyright © 2019 KPM

autumn in the kingdom of Alba

another Friday morning
once again I open my eyes
to another spectacular
Scottish sunrise

my heart still beats
with its heavy load
yet I smile when I think
of strollin’ down Perth Road

my walk to work is soothing
daily exercise
checkin’ out the people
& the changin’ Dundee skies

a time for me to think
in the chilly mornin’ peace
a time for silent prayer
hopin’ sorrow will decrease

copyright © 2017 KPM

 

waitin’ for the mail

flawed I am
with a soul that’s scarred
it can’t be helped:
my life’s been hard

mistakes I’ve made
things I can’t take back
forgive me, forgive me not:
won’t live my life on the rack

cause I’m a lowly human
sometimes happy, often blue
just an ordinary woman
a lonely soul like you

doubts I have aplenty
things I wish I could forget
but my past is what made me
so that I’ll never regret

I’ve always felt like a stranger
living in a strange land
but I am older now,
so I don’t care if you don’t understand

cause I’m human
from my truths I’ll never flee
just a lowly human
& you’re no better than me

phone me, send an email
better still, write
words from you would mean so much
they’d illuminate my darkest night

you can call me selfish
say it’s the worst kind of greed
but your familiar handwriting
is the one thing I most need

I’m only human, baby
my heart’s not made of stone
just one more grieving human
don’t let me go through this alone

copyright © 2017 KPM

50 days

grief
is a hateful thief
that has stolen my brother’s joy
replaced the humour in his eyes
with the look of a lost little boy

dismay
has come to play
it dances across my sisters’ hearts
tinging their smiles with a sadness
that pierces my soul like darts

me? I’m just numb
totally struck dumb
I’ve become unglued
my once familiar world
is now forever, horribly skewed

copyright © 2016 KPM

pieces of you

the blue potholders you made
you’d said it was your first try
they were far too pretty to use
on a shelf in my kitchen they lie

stationary sent “just because”
those neon sheets so gay & bright
there’s still plenty paper left
but there’s no one I care to write

a scarf sent for my birthday
worn casually ‘round my neck
I fondle it frequently
on those days when I’m a wreck

the first Christmas present you sent me
that soft pink sweater
now I wear it cold or not
cause it makes me feel better

all those letters, all your photos
so carefully, lovingly framed
you smile in each room of my house
my heart is forever maimed

also in the kitchen
on the door of my well-stocked fridge
are all those funny little magnets
reinforcing love’s constant bridge

copyright © 2017 KPM